News from Ali Base

According to this blog posting, it's up to 118 degrees at Ali Base where I was stationed. I'm very glad I'm back home!

Also the shot of the guy there is in one of the dining facilities where I can't normally take pictures. He worked at the "hot spot" while deployed there, so he usually signed me in for access to the computer, etc.

There's more blog posts about the base here.

Home!

Sorry for not updating the blog in a while, just been busy enjoying being home and relaxing. I arrived home on the 18th around noon. Was greeted by my lovely wife and the leadership from my home squadron.

Here's a shot of all the great toys I had waiting for me when I got home that I ordered while over in Iraq.

And the lovely new home my wife setup while I was gone. Very nicely furnished and feels very much like home!

The bed with the pillowcase that she had made so she wouldn't miss me as much while I was gone. :)

I of course got right to work hooking up all of my new computer equipment.

I missed her!

And her too, silly Rye.

Great things about being home:

- I can walk to the bathroom in 10 seconds and it doesn't require getting fully dressed including socks and tucking in my shirt.

- I can drive anywhere in my own car whenever I want.

- My computer is awesome and my monitors are HUGE compared to the tiny 10" laptop I had been using.

- There are no Iraqis, no waking up at 5am (at least until I go back to work), no rocket attacks, no 110 degree weather, no dust storms.

- I can wear civilian clothes again and just relax in some shorts.

- My roommate is much less smelly and much more clean and sexy.

- My internet is fast. Things actually happen when I try to go to a web page.

- No camel spiders.

- There is COLOR outside! Green grass! Green trees! Whitecapped mountains!

- There are cars that aren't white trucks or gigantic Army MRAPs.

- My bed is soft and awesome.

Things that aren't as good about being home:

- I don't get paid as much.

- I can't just give my laundry to Lulu and pick it up the next day.

- I have to pay for food and gas again.

As you can see, the benefits greatly outweigh the drawbacks! So glad to be home!

USA! USA! USA!

I'm in Baltimore, MD! That's in the United States! Staying in a nice hotel overnight for my final plane ride to Denver tomorrow morning. We left from Qatar then stopped in Kuwait and Germany before coming over to Baltimore.

They lost our luggage, so I only have my carry-ons. When in Qatar an Airman told us to put our bags in a big empty bin with no label on it instead of the one labeled "Baltimore" right beside it. We asked several times if he was sure it was the right one and he said yes. Apparently it wasn't the right one. At all. So I guess they'll be Fed-Exing it to me.

So much better than a tent or tiny room in Iraq!

Me and Gonzo in the tent getting ready to leave Iraq.

The rest of our group in the final tent before getting on the plane to leave Iraq.

Our final "meal-out" in Iraq, at the Ciano's restaurant. Pizza and some weird bread and big slices of cheese.

This is what the wipie thing looked like after I wiped off my desk in my room.

Hurry up and Wait

Ah, the military.

I was minding my own business playing some World of Warcraft when one of the guys banged on the door and I opened it to find him all sweaty screaming that we had 40 minutes to get on a plane.

So, I ran to my room, packed my stuff, realized most of my clothes were at Lulu's in the laundry, ran down to her shop, ran back, packed that, got dressed, ran to out-process the last place, got in the van and got to the terminal and checked in.

Then we sat in a tent for 2 hours... ha.

The trip was immeasurably better than the first one. I was in a C-17 instead of a C-130. I thought a C-130 was big until I saw it next to a C-17. A C-130 without the wings could pretty much fit inside a C-17. There was only 10 of us in this gigantic plane, and the seats are much bigger and more comfortable. Plenty of leg room, and we could even get up and walk around. Plus the trip was only an hour long instead of six.

So, I am currently in Qatar again! Hooray!!! No more Iraq! I'll still be here a couple days but at least I'm heading in the right direction.

Unlike last time where I was freezing, I am now burning up. It is 2am here right now and it is still hot. It is supposed to be 110 - 120 during the day, even hotter than Iraq. So I am thinking maybe I should stay up at night in the cool and then sleep during the day in the AC. We'll see.

Anyway, just wanted to update you that I'm on my way home! Yaaaay!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's day to my mom and grandma and any other mothers out there! I still haven't seen any Iraqi women, so I am mostly sure that they don't exist, so they probably don't celebrate mother's day here in Iraq. I will try to kill some terrorists today in honor of all of the American mothers.

Actually I won't because I've been relieved of duty, hooray! That means I don't have to go to work anymore, I'm just sitting around waiting for a flight out and am much closer to being home.

I have a new roommate, and it's... interesting. There is a cornucopia of new smells in my room...

...

...

My AC also just broke yesterday, so it's very hot in my room. Which doesn't help with the new smells.

Oh well, I'm out of her shortly and then I'll have a much cleaner, prettier roommate again. :-)

I'm really glad I didn't join the Army. It seems like it's much more like the actual military than the Air Force. The Army guys do runs around the base in formation singing jodies like we did in basic training. We saw one group the other day and there was a guy lagging behind so someone else ran back to him and was like "What, you can't MAINTAIN? YOU CAN'T KEEP FACE??? OOOORAAAAH!!". All the Air Force guys just chuckled, got in our truck, drove to the quarter mile to the dining facility and had some ice cream.

They try to do that at my home base sometimes as well. They'll have once a month "fun runs" (running is not fun) and during the run we start out in formation and some high ranking enlisted guy will try to get people to sing a jody and about 6 people will do it for a minute and then it quickly fades away.

Icemouse

My cheap laptop mouse that was manufactured in China and purchased in Iraq has died. :-( So I figured I would try to fix it using only duct tape, a leatherman, and a pocket knife. That's really all you need to fix anything according to 80's television shows like Macgyver and the A-Team, so I figured it should work in Iraq in 2009 also.

But alas, it did not. The wires are too small to put back together with duct tape. The small wires are what caused the problem in the first place. With normal use over only four months the wires cut themselves just from being moved around right where they connected to the mouse. My cheap Chinese mouse has made me a sad Chinese panda. :(

Now I can't easily finish my game of Duke Nukem 3D which I had been fully engrossed in since 6am this morning after my internet went down for a while. Then on top of that, I find out that 3D Realms has gone out of business, which means there may never be a Duke Nukem Forever to follow up Duke Nukem 3D! Even after over 10 years Duke Nukem 3D is still fun. Imagine how fun Duke Nukem Forever could have been. IMAGINE!

But I guess the good news is that I'll be home very soon and I can play other more modern games with a mouse and full keyboard and two monitors on my Mac with upgraded video card and RAM. Happy days. Does anyone want to buy a slightly used ATI x1900 video card? I will sell it to you for $1,000.

Do you often wake up in the middle of the night in a panic wondering where the coolest place to hang out at in Iraq is? Me either. But if you did, this is the place:

It may not look like a very happening club, but it is indeed "cool" if you get my meaning! (My meaning is that it is the ice house, which is cold so that the ice doesn't melt, if you didn't in fact get my meaning.)

Iraqi soda cans have heavier bottoms than American cans. I don't remember if I already talked about this, but it is a fact. They also have the more old-fashioned pull tab that actually comes off. I find this inferior to the American design because you then have to dispose of the tab in some way before you finish your beverage (which isn't that big of a problem since this is Iraq, you can just throw it on the ground), and also because of the way you open it a lot more "spray" comes out, even if the can has not been agitated. I also have seen multiple tabs come off of the can without actually opening it, which leaves you with quite a predicament. Without the proper tab a soda cannot easily be opened without exploding, so usually these cans have to be turned into soda grenades.

I'm apparently getting a roommate tomorrow, which is good because it means I leave soon, but bad because I will have a roommate. It also means I will have to clean my room sooner than I had mentally prepared myself for, which really messes up my planned activities for the day which consisted of reading the interwebs and/or magazines. I feel like I should also spend the rest of the day in my room naked, since it is the last day of privacy I will have until I leave, and I wouldn't want to waste the opportunity to fully utilize that privilege.

My backpack isn't very big, it's hard to fit 72 hours worth of clothes and supplies into it for the trip home.

Fingernails are weird. What if we had fingernail-like things on our knees and elbows? The knee and elbow pad industry would be hurting.

When I was buying supplies before I came out where I bought some new socks as the ones I had were from basic training and pretty horrible. I bought some socks that were ridiculously expensive, about $9 per pair. They are special socks for wear with combat boots and in conditions like Iraq. I have to say they were worth the money. They are very good socks. They have multiple types of elastic and fibers and thickness at all the stress-points on your foot, and they always fit perfectly without bunching up at the toes or wearing out easily on the heel. If you ever wear boot-like foot coverings, I would recommend getting some nice socks. The ones I got were from FoxRiver, and they apparently even have a program where you can buy socks for military members an they'll ship them to them for free. That's nice. By comparison the socks we are issued at basic training and even when getting our issued items to come over here are awful. They are just straight wool socks and they are hot, bunch up everywhere, stretch out, and have no support or padding.

Medals

Got my medals today. Well, two of them. Iraqi Campaign Medal and Air Force Expeditionary Service Ribbon. Iraqi Campaign Ribbon is on the right in the picture above, the other one is the one on the left with the gold border. I'll also get that Meritorious Unit Award but I guess I have to buy that one when I get home.

I guess they'll send me my purple heart and medal of honor in the mail or something.

Also I was really bored on a site so I made my name out of a piece of wire. It says "Derek". LOL it's funny that I told you what it says because it so clearly says Derek. FYI, things are funnier after being in the desert for four months.

They had a bunch of mexican food for Cinco De Mayo today. I had a turkey sandwich and soup instead. I'm a rebel like that. For breakfast every day I have two bowls of honey nut cheerios and cottage cheese and pears. I used to eat oranges every day and they were fantastic, but they they got different oranges with seeds and they make me sad so I don't eat them. :(

I'm learning to eat sunflower seeds. I still crush a lot of them into little pieces and have to spit all of it out. It takes some precision. I am not even close to being able to put in a whole handful and be able to sort them out like some people. One at a time, still using fingers is the way I do it. It keeps you awake though, trying to eat them. It's like a puzzle for your mouth.

I mailed a bunch of my stuff home, so that'll be less to carry back with me. I may have already mentioned that on this blog. But you just got a second helping for free.

I did end up partially sweeping my room after finding the broom. I know you guys were probably checking the site 10 times a day waiting to find out the answer to that cliffhanger. Well rest easy now, the dust bunnies that were easily reachable have been eliminated. There are still some hiding under beds, but they will be cleaned before I leave. Because I am required to.

I'm trying to make my bottle of body wash last until I leave so I don't have to buy another one and only use a fraction of it, so showers are having to be rationed. Don't worry though, it's Iraq. When the whole country is like a giant piece of poo, it's ok to skip a shower now and then.

I'm glad I bought a waterproof camera. Just being in my pocket it is exposed to some moisture from sweat, plus all the dust. It's holding up great so far. If there was an option here I'd take pictures of the exotic Iraqi tropical fish, but there isn't. So I can only take pictures of brown dust and rocks.

The number and sizes of the beetles I see roaming around are increasing. I've seen some about 3 inches long. Many bugs here seem abnormally fast. The camel spiders can run at 10mph, and there was an ant today that I swear could almost teleport. Way too fast considering the size of his legs.

Those little disposable alcohol wipes are handy in the desert. As is hand sanitizer. I recommend both if you ever find yourself in Iraq.

I have a straw that makes milk taste like cookie-milk, but I always forget to bring milk back to my room, or the straw to the milk. :(

It's nice not growing much facial hair when serving in the military. I don't even need to use shaving cream while other guys are in there for 15 minutes trying to shave. Ha.

Bottles of foot powder last a lot longer than you'd think they would. Also, insulated combat boots are hot.

There are self-service laundry machines here, but there is also a contractor that you can drop your stuff off with and she'll wash it for you. Her name is Lulu and she is amazing. She's probably in her 50's and has an unbelievable memory. Almost anyone that comes in there more than once, she will memorize their last name and last four of their social security number (which she writes on her forms). With hundreds of people using her services and all of those people changing out every 4 - 6 months, it's pretty amazing how much she can remember.

Ziggurat video

I found this video of the last tour to the ziggurat.

Click here to view it.

I haven't watched it as it would take hours to download on this slow internet connection. We have turned the Ziggurat back over to the Iraqis, so we can't go there anymore as it's "outside the wire" so I'm glad I got to go when I did. Probably a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

Oh hey, a broom.

I just realized that here has been a broom leaning against the wall in the corner of my room for the last 4 months, so I think tomorrow I will think about sweeping my room out! Previously I had put it off because I didn't want to walk to the BX and buy a broom and carry it all the way back, and I also didn't want to buy a broom. But now that I have one I can sweep my room, or at least think about it. So that's good. I won't say what other items I haven't cleaned while here. But it's ok because it's Iraq and I'm at war. (I do shower, so it's not that)

On my next day off I'll probably get some boxes and pack up a bunch of my stuff to mail home. Just stuff like my winter weather gear that I obviously don't need anymore, my college books that were mailed out here, etc. That way I don't have to carry it all home on my back.

Time has slowed down dramatically as I only have a week or two left. The past week feels like four months almost. I hope it speeds up again soon.

This morning it started raining and lightning, so we called off my site working, since we were going to be working out on the flight line where there is no shelter of any kind and I would probably be the tallest thing out there for thousands of feet in either direction. So that was nice. Also this afternoon it was hailing some. Hailing. In Iraq. In 95 degree weather. Weird. Also today as it was raining, I was watching a concrete barrier and it never got fully wet. It kept raining on it, but it was never a solid amount of wetness, you could still see the individual drops. And it stayed like that for five minutes. The water was just evaporating so fast from the heat that it never got fully wet.

It is indeed getting hot here. So far it has been up to about 105 degrees, which is pretty warm when you're in a truck with no A/C or standing out on the flight line with no shade. My hands and face are tan, but that is all. I look like I have gloves on when I wear a short sleeve shirt, as normally I have to wear my long sleeve ABU top. I don't even have a farmer's tan. Well, except for the neck part.

I'm a Colonel rank in Call of Duty 4. I don't think I'm going to make 5-star General before I leave. I fixed a few of the computers on the LAN gaming network that weren't working and also fixed a mouse that someone had bent a pin on. I didn't get a medal for it though, which surprised me.

I will be getting three ribbons from my deployment here though, which is neat. I'll have the Iraqi Campaign medal, something else, and then a Meritorious Unit Award or something similar that the squadron won while I was here.

My watch stinks. It is a $10 Wal-Mart watch with a nylon canvas type band, which absorbs sweat and odors and it stinks. I think I need a new one but I don't know what kind. The plastic bands always break after a while, and the metal bands are kind of heavy. One that didn't stink would be good though.

I think I have swine-elbow. My elbows have been kind of itchy. Maybe they are just dry. Or it's Mexican Swine-Elbow. You've probably heard about it on CNN.

I haven't taken any new pictures, sorry. I tried to take a video of EOD doing a controlled-detonation, but I was too far away for it to be more than a little blip on the screen and it didn't look very impressive.

Taco Bell finally got red sauce in stock, so I've enjoyed eating there more. However they have not been as neat lately as they were a few months ago. Maybe it's a new guy working there. However he does put more cheese on it, which is a plus.

I still haven't shot anybody. Time is running out.

They opened a new dining facility on base recently and it is very nice looking inside compared to the others. The Indian/Pakistani workers all wear little tuxedo outfits and there is a lot of good bright lighting, etc. The workers are pretty bored, as not many people go to the new one yet, so they keep it extraordinarily clean. If you spill some tomatoes on the counter at the salad bar as an example, they will rush over as soon as you leave and clean it up. They are also extremely precise when putting together a sandwich or putting food on your plate. They take individual pickles and place them on the bread, making sure that they don't overlap and cover as much of the bread as possible. They put on the mayonnaise with individual droplets so that it is evenly distributed throughout the sandwich, etc. It makes me laugh to myself every time. They try really hard. Give them a couple months on the job though and I'm sure they'll loosen up. They also have Baskin Robbins Ice Cream available, which is pretty awesome. I still haven't had any.

The Iraqi's rags that they wear on their heads remind me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the books the characters always have a towel with them as their most essential travel companion. Ridiculous situations arise throughout the books and a towel ends up miraculously getting them out of the bind that they are in and is used for many different tasks. The rag is kind of similar. I've seen people wear it as the traditional hat, I've seen people wear it around their waste, one guy even wraps it up around his shoulder and around his waist into some kind of backpack/bra type thing. They also use them as handkerchiefs, picking or blowing their nose on them. Then of course you have the standard terrorist look of them wrapping them around their entire face to filter the dust out. When they add mirrored aviator sunglasses it really completes the ensemble.

I found out what the Iraqi's do with the bottles of water in the port-a-johns. Apparently they cup their left hand and pour some water in there and then splash it up "in the area" to clean it. They don't use toilet paper, just water and their hand. That's why it's an insult to do anything with your left hand here. You're not supposed to wave at them with your left hand or offer your left hand to shake, etc. Of course as soon as they get out of the bathroom they get some more water and then rub their hands together, so it really doesn't make a difference as far as germs go.

I don't think they really have an understanding of germs in general. For instance if one guy takes a drink of a water bottle after another guy, they'll first pour a small amount of the water out on the ground, I assume thinking that all of the germs are on the top of the water, so if they dump it out then there won't be any germs in or on the bottle. Either that or they really like the Dr. Evil character in Austin Powers and are repeating the part where he pours out a little alcohol for "his homies". It's probably the first one.

I try not to think about these things when I accept their "Samoon" (that weird bread that I posted a picture of before) because it's really good and I don't want to be rude by not taking it. It's like exercise for my immune system though. I wish I could get the recipe for the bread. It's really good. And even better with these little cream cheese packets they have. They come individually wrapped in either a square or in little pie shapes that look like the pieces from Trivial Pursuit.

I bought some toothpaste today and just realized I had two tubes of it in my drawer from a care package. Woops.

I still haven't seen a camel spider. I wanted to at least see one while I was here. Not anywhere near my room of course, like maybe out by the flight line or some other project far away from where I sleep and eat. If you don't know what a camel spider is, it's this horrible bug over here that is the most evil looking thing you've ever seen. They have their own web site at CamelSpiders.net. There are a lot of myths about them which are debunked on that web site, but still they are big and awful. They can run 10 miles an hour (!) and a lot of people think they are chasing them because they are trying to get in people's shadows so that they can stay cool. They became famous on the internet from that picture of the guys holding them up in the air because it looks like they are gigantic, but that's just an illusion of the camera angle. Still they are big and fast and have way too many legs.

I have seen some lizards here as well as birds, flies and some sort of dead gigantic beetle bug thing in the parking lot. I didn't take a picture of it though. I didn't want the flash to piss it off and it come back to life with a posse of camel spiders to terrorize me in my room. Also camels and dogs and coyote/fox/jackal/man/bear/pigs (Manbearpig is another South Park reference of Al Gore hunting a beast that is half man, half bear and half pig. You guys should really watch South Park) of some kind that run around. Oh, and a jack rabbit. When we saw the jack rabbit the Iraqis said "good food".

I guess that's it for now. I'm going to bed.

Detail

Just wanted to share a couple of articles on the attention to detail and respect put into handling returning fallen troops to their families. Not sure how much media coverage this received back home, but it's the first time a picture of a military casket has been shown returning from abroad in 18 years.

Link to the Article with pictures.

And here's a behind-the-scenes look at the detail that goes into preparing their final uniform, even if it will never be seen.

Link to article.