According to this blog posting, it's up to 118 degrees at Ali Base where I was stationed. I'm very glad I'm back home!
Also the shot of the guy there is in one of the dining facilities where I can't normally take pictures. He worked at the "hot spot" while deployed there, so he usually signed me in for access to the computer, etc.
Sorry for not updating the blog in a while, just been busy enjoying being home and relaxing. I arrived home on the 18th around noon. Was greeted by my lovely wife and the leadership from my home squadron.
Here's a shot of all the great toys I had waiting for me when I got home that I ordered while over in Iraq.
And the lovely new home my wife setup while I was gone. Very nicely furnished and feels very much like home!
The bed with the pillowcase that she had made so she wouldn't miss me as much while I was gone. :)
I of course got right to work hooking up all of my new computer equipment.
I missed her!
And her too, silly Rye.
Great things about being home:
- I can walk to the bathroom in 10 seconds and it doesn't require getting fully dressed including socks and tucking in my shirt.
- I can drive anywhere in my own car whenever I want.
- My computer is awesome and my monitors are HUGE compared to the tiny 10" laptop I had been using.
- There are no Iraqis, no waking up at 5am (at least until I go back to work), no rocket attacks, no 110 degree weather, no dust storms.
- I can wear civilian clothes again and just relax in some shorts.
- My roommate is much less smelly and much more clean and sexy.
- My internet is fast. Things actually happen when I try to go to a web page.
- No camel spiders.
- There is COLOR outside! Green grass! Green trees! Whitecapped mountains!
- There are cars that aren't white trucks or gigantic Army MRAPs.
- My bed is soft and awesome.
Things that aren't as good about being home:
- I don't get paid as much.
- I can't just give my laundry to Lulu and pick it up the next day.
- I have to pay for food and gas again.
As you can see, the benefits greatly outweigh the drawbacks! So glad to be home!
I'm in Baltimore, MD! That's in the United States! Staying in a nice hotel overnight for my final plane ride to Denver tomorrow morning. We left from Qatar then stopped in Kuwait and Germany before coming over to Baltimore.
They lost our luggage, so I only have my carry-ons. When in Qatar an Airman told us to put our bags in a big empty bin with no label on it instead of the one labeled "Baltimore" right beside it. We asked several times if he was sure it was the right one and he said yes. Apparently it wasn't the right one. At all. So I guess they'll be Fed-Exing it to me.
So much better than a tent or tiny room in Iraq!
Me and Gonzo in the tent getting ready to leave Iraq.
The rest of our group in the final tent before getting on the plane to leave Iraq.
Our final "meal-out" in Iraq, at the Ciano's restaurant. Pizza and some weird bread and big slices of cheese.
This is what the wipie thing looked like after I wiped off my desk in my room.
I was minding my own business playing some World of Warcraft when one of the guys banged on the door and I opened it to find him all sweaty screaming that we had 40 minutes to get on a plane.
So, I ran to my room, packed my stuff, realized most of my clothes were at Lulu's in the laundry, ran down to her shop, ran back, packed that, got dressed, ran to out-process the last place, got in the van and got to the terminal and checked in.
Then we sat in a tent for 2 hours... ha.
The trip was immeasurably better than the first one. I was in a C-17 instead of a C-130. I thought a C-130 was big until I saw it next to a C-17. A C-130 without the wings could pretty much fit inside a C-17. There was only 10 of us in this gigantic plane, and the seats are much bigger and more comfortable. Plenty of leg room, and we could even get up and walk around. Plus the trip was only an hour long instead of six.
So, I am currently in Qatar again! Hooray!!! No more Iraq! I'll still be here a couple days but at least I'm heading in the right direction.
Unlike last time where I was freezing, I am now burning up. It is 2am here right now and it is still hot. It is supposed to be 110 - 120 during the day, even hotter than Iraq. So I am thinking maybe I should stay up at night in the cool and then sleep during the day in the AC. We'll see.
Anyway, just wanted to update you that I'm on my way home! Yaaaay!
Happy Mother's day to my mom and grandma and any other mothers out there! I still haven't seen any Iraqi women, so I am mostly sure that they don't exist, so they probably don't celebrate mother's day here in Iraq. I will try to kill some terrorists today in honor of all of the American mothers.
Actually I won't because I've been relieved of duty, hooray! That means I don't have to go to work anymore, I'm just sitting around waiting for a flight out and am much closer to being home.
I have a new roommate, and it's... interesting. There is a cornucopia of new smells in my room...
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My AC also just broke yesterday, so it's very hot in my room. Which doesn't help with the new smells.
Oh well, I'm out of her shortly and then I'll have a much cleaner, prettier roommate again. :-)
I'm really glad I didn't join the Army. It seems like it's much more like the actual military than the Air Force. The Army guys do runs around the base in formation singing jodies like we did in basic training. We saw one group the other day and there was a guy lagging behind so someone else ran back to him and was like "What, you can't MAINTAIN? YOU CAN'T KEEP FACE??? OOOORAAAAH!!". All the Air Force guys just chuckled, got in our truck, drove to the quarter mile to the dining facility and had some ice cream.
They try to do that at my home base sometimes as well. They'll have once a month "fun runs" (running is not fun) and during the run we start out in formation and some high ranking enlisted guy will try to get people to sing a jody and about 6 people will do it for a minute and then it quickly fades away.
My cheap laptop mouse that was manufactured in China and purchased in Iraq has died. :-( So I figured I would try to fix it using only duct tape, a leatherman, and a pocket knife. That's really all you need to fix anything according to 80's television shows like Macgyver and the A-Team, so I figured it should work in Iraq in 2009 also.
But alas, it did not. The wires are too small to put back together with duct tape. The small wires are what caused the problem in the first place. With normal use over only four months the wires cut themselves just from being moved around right where they connected to the mouse. My cheap Chinese mouse has made me a sad Chinese panda. :(
Now I can't easily finish my game of Duke Nukem 3D which I had been fully engrossed in since 6am this morning after my internet went down for a while. Then on top of that, I find out that 3D Realms has gone out of business, which means there may never be a Duke Nukem Forever to follow up Duke Nukem 3D! Even after over 10 years Duke Nukem 3D is still fun. Imagine how fun Duke Nukem Forever could have been. IMAGINE!
But I guess the good news is that I'll be home very soon and I can play other more modern games with a mouse and full keyboard and two monitors on my Mac with upgraded video card and RAM. Happy days. Does anyone want to buy a slightly used ATI x1900 video card? I will sell it to you for $1,000.
Do you often wake up in the middle of the night in a panic wondering where the coolest place to hang out at in Iraq is? Me either. But if you did, this is the place:
It may not look like a very happening club, but it is indeed "cool" if you get my meaning! (My meaning is that it is the ice house, which is cold so that the ice doesn't melt, if you didn't in fact get my meaning.)
Iraqi soda cans have heavier bottoms than American cans. I don't remember if I already talked about this, but it is a fact. They also have the more old-fashioned pull tab that actually comes off. I find this inferior to the American design because you then have to dispose of the tab in some way before you finish your beverage (which isn't that big of a problem since this is Iraq, you can just throw it on the ground), and also because of the way you open it a lot more "spray" comes out, even if the can has not been agitated. I also have seen multiple tabs come off of the can without actually opening it, which leaves you with quite a predicament. Without the proper tab a soda cannot easily be opened without exploding, so usually these cans have to be turned into soda grenades.
I'm apparently getting a roommate tomorrow, which is good because it means I leave soon, but bad because I will have a roommate. It also means I will have to clean my room sooner than I had mentally prepared myself for, which really messes up my planned activities for the day which consisted of reading the interwebs and/or magazines. I feel like I should also spend the rest of the day in my room naked, since it is the last day of privacy I will have until I leave, and I wouldn't want to waste the opportunity to fully utilize that privilege.
My backpack isn't very big, it's hard to fit 72 hours worth of clothes and supplies into it for the trip home.
Fingernails are weird. What if we had fingernail-like things on our knees and elbows? The knee and elbow pad industry would be hurting.
When I was buying supplies before I came out where I bought some new socks as the ones I had were from basic training and pretty horrible. I bought some socks that were ridiculously expensive, about $9 per pair. They are special socks for wear with combat boots and in conditions like Iraq. I have to say they were worth the money. They are very good socks. They have multiple types of elastic and fibers and thickness at all the stress-points on your foot, and they always fit perfectly without bunching up at the toes or wearing out easily on the heel. If you ever wear boot-like foot coverings, I would recommend getting some nice socks. The ones I got were from FoxRiver, and they apparently even have a program where you can buy socks for military members an they'll ship them to them for free. That's nice. By comparison the socks we are issued at basic training and even when getting our issued items to come over here are awful. They are just straight wool socks and they are hot, bunch up everywhere, stretch out, and have no support or padding.
Got my medals today. Well, two of them. Iraqi Campaign Medal and Air Force Expeditionary Service Ribbon. Iraqi Campaign Ribbon is on the right in the picture above, the other one is the one on the left with the gold border. I'll also get that Meritorious Unit Award but I guess I have to buy that one when I get home.
I guess they'll send me my purple heart and medal of honor in the mail or something.
Also I was really bored on a site so I made my name out of a piece of wire. It says "Derek". LOL it's funny that I told you what it says because it so clearly says Derek. FYI, things are funnier after being in the desert for four months.
They had a bunch of mexican food for Cinco De Mayo today. I had a turkey sandwich and soup instead. I'm a rebel like that. For breakfast every day I have two bowls of honey nut cheerios and cottage cheese and pears. I used to eat oranges every day and they were fantastic, but they they got different oranges with seeds and they make me sad so I don't eat them. :(
I'm learning to eat sunflower seeds. I still crush a lot of them into little pieces and have to spit all of it out. It takes some precision. I am not even close to being able to put in a whole handful and be able to sort them out like some people. One at a time, still using fingers is the way I do it. It keeps you awake though, trying to eat them. It's like a puzzle for your mouth.
I mailed a bunch of my stuff home, so that'll be less to carry back with me. I may have already mentioned that on this blog. But you just got a second helping for free.
I did end up partially sweeping my room after finding the broom. I know you guys were probably checking the site 10 times a day waiting to find out the answer to that cliffhanger. Well rest easy now, the dust bunnies that were easily reachable have been eliminated. There are still some hiding under beds, but they will be cleaned before I leave. Because I am required to.
I'm trying to make my bottle of body wash last until I leave so I don't have to buy another one and only use a fraction of it, so showers are having to be rationed. Don't worry though, it's Iraq. When the whole country is like a giant piece of poo, it's ok to skip a shower now and then.
I'm glad I bought a waterproof camera. Just being in my pocket it is exposed to some moisture from sweat, plus all the dust. It's holding up great so far. If there was an option here I'd take pictures of the exotic Iraqi tropical fish, but there isn't. So I can only take pictures of brown dust and rocks.
The number and sizes of the beetles I see roaming around are increasing. I've seen some about 3 inches long. Many bugs here seem abnormally fast. The camel spiders can run at 10mph, and there was an ant today that I swear could almost teleport. Way too fast considering the size of his legs.
Those little disposable alcohol wipes are handy in the desert. As is hand sanitizer. I recommend both if you ever find yourself in Iraq.
I have a straw that makes milk taste like cookie-milk, but I always forget to bring milk back to my room, or the straw to the milk. :(
It's nice not growing much facial hair when serving in the military. I don't even need to use shaving cream while other guys are in there for 15 minutes trying to shave. Ha.
Bottles of foot powder last a lot longer than you'd think they would. Also, insulated combat boots are hot.
There are self-service laundry machines here, but there is also a contractor that you can drop your stuff off with and she'll wash it for you. Her name is Lulu and she is amazing. She's probably in her 50's and has an unbelievable memory. Almost anyone that comes in there more than once, she will memorize their last name and last four of their social security number (which she writes on her forms). With hundreds of people using her services and all of those people changing out every 4 - 6 months, it's pretty amazing how much she can remember.
I haven't watched it as it would take hours to download on this slow internet connection. We have turned the Ziggurat back over to the Iraqis, so we can't go there anymore as it's "outside the wire" so I'm glad I got to go when I did. Probably a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
I just realized that here has been a broom leaning against the wall in the corner of my room for the last 4 months, so I think tomorrow I will think about sweeping my room out! Previously I had put it off because I didn't want to walk to the BX and buy a broom and carry it all the way back, and I also didn't want to buy a broom. But now that I have one I can sweep my room, or at least think about it. So that's good. I won't say what other items I haven't cleaned while here. But it's ok because it's Iraq and I'm at war. (I do shower, so it's not that)
On my next day off I'll probably get some boxes and pack up a bunch of my stuff to mail home. Just stuff like my winter weather gear that I obviously don't need anymore, my college books that were mailed out here, etc. That way I don't have to carry it all home on my back.
Time has slowed down dramatically as I only have a week or two left. The past week feels like four months almost. I hope it speeds up again soon.
This morning it started raining and lightning, so we called off my site working, since we were going to be working out on the flight line where there is no shelter of any kind and I would probably be the tallest thing out there for thousands of feet in either direction. So that was nice. Also this afternoon it was hailing some. Hailing. In Iraq. In 95 degree weather. Weird. Also today as it was raining, I was watching a concrete barrier and it never got fully wet. It kept raining on it, but it was never a solid amount of wetness, you could still see the individual drops. And it stayed like that for five minutes. The water was just evaporating so fast from the heat that it never got fully wet.
It is indeed getting hot here. So far it has been up to about 105 degrees, which is pretty warm when you're in a truck with no A/C or standing out on the flight line with no shade. My hands and face are tan, but that is all. I look like I have gloves on when I wear a short sleeve shirt, as normally I have to wear my long sleeve ABU top. I don't even have a farmer's tan. Well, except for the neck part.
I'm a Colonel rank in Call of Duty 4. I don't think I'm going to make 5-star General before I leave. I fixed a few of the computers on the LAN gaming network that weren't working and also fixed a mouse that someone had bent a pin on. I didn't get a medal for it though, which surprised me.
I will be getting three ribbons from my deployment here though, which is neat. I'll have the Iraqi Campaign medal, something else, and then a Meritorious Unit Award or something similar that the squadron won while I was here.
My watch stinks. It is a $10 Wal-Mart watch with a nylon canvas type band, which absorbs sweat and odors and it stinks. I think I need a new one but I don't know what kind. The plastic bands always break after a while, and the metal bands are kind of heavy. One that didn't stink would be good though.
I think I have swine-elbow. My elbows have been kind of itchy. Maybe they are just dry. Or it's Mexican Swine-Elbow. You've probably heard about it on CNN.
I haven't taken any new pictures, sorry. I tried to take a video of EOD doing a controlled-detonation, but I was too far away for it to be more than a little blip on the screen and it didn't look very impressive.
Taco Bell finally got red sauce in stock, so I've enjoyed eating there more. However they have not been as neat lately as they were a few months ago. Maybe it's a new guy working there. However he does put more cheese on it, which is a plus.
I still haven't shot anybody. Time is running out.
They opened a new dining facility on base recently and it is very nice looking inside compared to the others. The Indian/Pakistani workers all wear little tuxedo outfits and there is a lot of good bright lighting, etc. The workers are pretty bored, as not many people go to the new one yet, so they keep it extraordinarily clean. If you spill some tomatoes on the counter at the salad bar as an example, they will rush over as soon as you leave and clean it up. They are also extremely precise when putting together a sandwich or putting food on your plate. They take individual pickles and place them on the bread, making sure that they don't overlap and cover as much of the bread as possible. They put on the mayonnaise with individual droplets so that it is evenly distributed throughout the sandwich, etc. It makes me laugh to myself every time. They try really hard. Give them a couple months on the job though and I'm sure they'll loosen up. They also have Baskin Robbins Ice Cream available, which is pretty awesome. I still haven't had any.
The Iraqi's rags that they wear on their heads remind me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the books the characters always have a towel with them as their most essential travel companion. Ridiculous situations arise throughout the books and a towel ends up miraculously getting them out of the bind that they are in and is used for many different tasks. The rag is kind of similar. I've seen people wear it as the traditional hat, I've seen people wear it around their waste, one guy even wraps it up around his shoulder and around his waist into some kind of backpack/bra type thing. They also use them as handkerchiefs, picking or blowing their nose on them. Then of course you have the standard terrorist look of them wrapping them around their entire face to filter the dust out. When they add mirrored aviator sunglasses it really completes the ensemble.
I found out what the Iraqi's do with the bottles of water in the port-a-johns. Apparently they cup their left hand and pour some water in there and then splash it up "in the area" to clean it. They don't use toilet paper, just water and their hand. That's why it's an insult to do anything with your left hand here. You're not supposed to wave at them with your left hand or offer your left hand to shake, etc. Of course as soon as they get out of the bathroom they get some more water and then rub their hands together, so it really doesn't make a difference as far as germs go.
I don't think they really have an understanding of germs in general. For instance if one guy takes a drink of a water bottle after another guy, they'll first pour a small amount of the water out on the ground, I assume thinking that all of the germs are on the top of the water, so if they dump it out then there won't be any germs in or on the bottle. Either that or they really like the Dr. Evil character in Austin Powers and are repeating the part where he pours out a little alcohol for "his homies". It's probably the first one.
I try not to think about these things when I accept their "Samoon" (that weird bread that I posted a picture of before) because it's really good and I don't want to be rude by not taking it. It's like exercise for my immune system though. I wish I could get the recipe for the bread. It's really good. And even better with these little cream cheese packets they have. They come individually wrapped in either a square or in little pie shapes that look like the pieces from Trivial Pursuit.
I bought some toothpaste today and just realized I had two tubes of it in my drawer from a care package. Woops.
I still haven't seen a camel spider. I wanted to at least see one while I was here. Not anywhere near my room of course, like maybe out by the flight line or some other project far away from where I sleep and eat. If you don't know what a camel spider is, it's this horrible bug over here that is the most evil looking thing you've ever seen. They have their own web site at CamelSpiders.net. There are a lot of myths about them which are debunked on that web site, but still they are big and awful. They can run 10 miles an hour (!) and a lot of people think they are chasing them because they are trying to get in people's shadows so that they can stay cool. They became famous on the internet from that picture of the guys holding them up in the air because it looks like they are gigantic, but that's just an illusion of the camera angle. Still they are big and fast and have way too many legs.
I have seen some lizards here as well as birds, flies and some sort of dead gigantic beetle bug thing in the parking lot. I didn't take a picture of it though. I didn't want the flash to piss it off and it come back to life with a posse of camel spiders to terrorize me in my room. Also camels and dogs and coyote/fox/jackal/man/bear/pigs (Manbearpig is another South Park reference of Al Gore hunting a beast that is half man, half bear and half pig. You guys should really watch South Park) of some kind that run around. Oh, and a jack rabbit. When we saw the jack rabbit the Iraqis said "good food".
Just wanted to share a couple of articles on the attention to detail and respect put into handling returning fallen troops to their families. Not sure how much media coverage this received back home, but it's the first time a picture of a military casket has been shown returning from abroad in 18 years.
These are just random thoughts so they'll probably jump around a lot, sorry.
A lot of the people in the Army are old. Really old (for the military). And low ranking for their age. I regularly notice Specialists and Privates (basically the same rank as me or lower) but they look like they are in their 40's easy. I think you can enlist in the Army up until 45 or so. Seems they are taking just about anyone they can right now including convicted felons. Some of the sergeants look like they are in their late 50's / early 60's at least.
I can see why no one wants to join the Army though. They are here for a year at a time and I'm already itching to leave after 3 months. Actually I was itching to leave after about a week of being here but I'm definitely ready to go now. Suicides are higher now than they have ever been in the Army. That's probably also because they have lowered their standards a lot because they need people. Some people that shouldn't have made it through boot camp are here now and can't handle it.
AFN (Armed Forces Network) is our TV and radio station. They port in all the US channels via satellite like CNN and MSNBC and some sitcoms from the networks, but they don't air any commercials from back home. Instead they create their own. They are mostly cheesy and ridiculous. Most are just reminders for us for things about OPSEC (Operations Security), drink lots of water, don't use hot plates in your room, etc. A surprising amount is basically propaganda trying to entice the Army members into re-enlisting and staying in the Army.
I really really miss fast Internet. I probably miss that more than anything other than my wife. It is extremely unreliable here as well. It is currently down in my room so I am typing this from the Hot Spot, our recreation area. The WiFi here is even slower than in my room. I spend basically all my free time on the Internet both here and at home so not having a fast connection is really frustrating to me.
There are some silly rules in deployed locations and some things that don't make sense. For instance we are told we can only take 3 - 5 minute showers and are supposed to turn the water off between lathering and rinsing, etc to conserve water, as it all has to be hauled in by truck. However, we waste hundreds of gallons a day making sure all of our vehicles are nice and washed and clean. We are in Iraq. It is a desert. Before you even get the truck back to the parking lot it has a layer of dust on it. Also we had a Combat Dining-in the other day which is a big event with food and games and things, basically a morale booster. But the main theme of the event was a giant water fight with water guns, water balloons, fire extinguishers, etc. If we can wash vehicles and have water fights why can't I take a longer shower or leave the water on while I brush my teeth? Silly.
Any of you that know me, know that I am generally very quiet and introverted. This almost always results in people thinking something is wrong with me or that I am angry or grumpy. It's a good sign that I am really quiet when even a young Iraqi who speaks maybe 10 words of English comes up and asks me what's wrong or why I don't talk. Iraqis seem to be very social, especially around meals, so maybe it stands out even more in their culture. I just thought it was interesting that even the Iraqis notice that I don't talk much.
Also being quiet has been a big challenge here, as I am regularly paired up with a new person every few days, usually sitting in a truck or standing in a building together for hours and hours at a time. I don't even know how many times I've heard "You don't say much, do ya'?" over the past three months. I have yet to come up with a good response to this that isn't insulting to the other person, so usually I just smile and nod.
Relatedly, anyone reading this should probably read this article, which does a great job of explaining how I work and why I'm sure some of you have thought I was angry or grumpy or rude at some point. Sure, I could have actually been angry or grumpy or rude I suppose, but normally it is due to the above. I am generally an extraordinarily laid-back person and don't get angry easily. One of the guys I hang out with here even jokingly blamed me for him almost getting in a fight with someone because I wasn't around, and my presence has a calming effect on him he says, as I don't react to anything. I couldn't even get into a fight with the trainer during my ASP baton training, as I kept talking him out of the fight instead.
The most combat I have seen in Iraq (other than the flies) has been playing Call of Duty 4 every day in the Hot Spot. We have a network of a dozen computers where we can all sit down on a network and shoot each other. It's great fun. Also it's funny to see a room in Iraq full of people wearing military fatigues armed with M16s and M9 handguns sitting at computers pretending to be at war in a computer game. There is probably a joke there about the Air Force being the "Chairforce" but I will not make it.
I went to the dining facility for lunch today and they had easter decorations hanging all over the place, from the ceilings, on the tables, the tablecloths, etc. There was candy on the tables and spread all over the building. At each little food station there was candy scattered around that you could take with you. By the soup there was a giant pile of it, enough to fill an entire folding table. They also had sparkling grape juice on the tables since we can't have alcohol.
Pretty cool that they make an effort to celebrate all of the holidays for us even over here.
Sorry I couldn't take any pictures, they don't allow photography in the dining facilities.
The war with the flies continues. Today I was swatting some flies when one of the Iraqis came over and handed me a fly swatter. It was a nice gesture. Fly swatters are considerably better at killing flys than boonie hats. The picture above is a very very small sampling of the flies I killed today. I got two-in-one four times, and killed three with one shot once. Apparently the flys are mating or whatever flies do to reproduce, as I frequently see them on top of each other or flying around looking like they are fighting. This makes it easy to get the multiple kills with one shot. And if you think about it I'm really wiping out an entire family lineage of them, so my kill count should really be quite a bit higher.
Next we have some funny safety problems on the job site, like this cord laying on the ground which leads to...
This welding machine which apparently has lost its outer casing and is just laying on a piece of cardboard. I'm not an electrician or a welder, but I am pretty certain that these things generally come in a protective case for a reason and really aren't designed to have the scary looking coils and wires exposed laying on the ground. This is probably the same welder from an earlier post where one of the guys was holding the ground to a metal pole.
The Iraqis seem very generous. They share their "samoon" (not sure how to spell it) with us which is the bread I took a picture of earlier. Once they even gave me the last piece when they didn't have any left. I didn't know it was the last piece or I wouldn't have taken it, but they were nice about it. And on several occasions when an Air Force member has complimented an Iraqi on their watch or ring or hat or something, just trying to be nice, the Iraqi immediately takes it off and hands it to them. One guy I worked with was joking with one of the Iraqis and told him to give him his watch and ring and even wedding ring, which the Iraqi handed over almost immediately. My co-worker of course gave it all back, but it was interesting that they'd give up anything so freely.
On the other hand you have to watch them though, as I've seen them trying to trade people watches, where the Iraqi gives a $10 watch in exchange for a $60 watch. The Iraqi that gave me the fly swatter to use also came back later and jokingly said "I... two dollars" meaning he wanted me to pay him $2 for the use of his fly swatter.
We got a big rain storm a few days ago and it is just now drying out. When it rains here even a little bit it turns into a mud pit, and when it rains most of the night and next day, it's just an unbelievable mess. As I've said before, the mud is more like glue than traditional mud. Actually there are several types, the glue mud, and then the melted chocolate milk shake mud, which is mostly what covers the roads.
While working at one of the sites one of the bosses came to get us to help get a truck unstuck, so we went out thinking we'd just need to push/pull a little Nissan truck or something, but this 18-wheeler is what had gotten stuck. He tried to do a U-turn on a tiny road and went through the mud but didn't come out. So we found some folks with a huge front-end loader and got them to pull it out.
It's not that exciting, sorry. I was hoping the chain would break or the truck would somehow catch on fire inexplicably or the front axle would just fall off, but none of that happened. If it had though, I would have video taped it and you would be watching it now. So just imagine that happened.
Hello. I'm still in Iraq. Sorry I haven't updated the blog in a long time. I was finishing up my two college classes and had a 10 page paper to write for each class, so that took up most of my non-working time. Plus I'm kind of running out of things to talk about. Things are very much the same day in and day out here. You go to work, get off, do whatever it is you do in your off time, then repeat. Of course it's the same back home, but you have a lot more options of what to do with your free time there. Here are some random photos. My photo taking has died down a lot too. Everything is just brown. Brown dirt, brown sky, brown people, brown rocks, brown brown brown.
This is the bootleg DVD store at the "Ur Market" which is a little building just outside the interior gate of the base where they sell such things. Sorry for the really blurry pictures, I didn't want to use the flash in case they didn't appreciate me taking pictures.
The production values are actually quite high, considering they are all downloaded off the internet or ripped from commercial DVDs. They come in nice cardboard boxes with gold embossed lettering. You can buy an entire series (series, not season) of a TV show for about $20. For instance, every X-files that ever aired, or every Everybody Loves Raymond, etc. I have not purchased any to see the quality but from what I hear it's pretty good.
They also sell collections, usually by actor. So you can buy "The best of Brad Pitt" or "The best of Angelina Jolie" or even "The best of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie" and each one will have about 30 of their movies on it, probably for $20 or less. They have some crazy collections like "The best 700 Disney cartoons", etc. They come in huge boxes with like 40 DVDs.
They also have brand new movies, usually as soon as they come out in theaters, as camera rips. It's the same stuff you can download online but they just charge you $2 for the individual movies.
The Ur Market sells other things as well, like electronics, knives, trinkets, etc. The main draw is the movies though. Some guys love to go up there and barter with them and get them lower their price to a fraction of what it was. I suck at bartering though.
This is a sign in one of the cadillacs warning us to wash our hands or face the runny poo. There's a little picture of Mr. Hanky on the bottom. For those that don't watch South Park, he's a little piece of talking poo that comes around Christmas time, bringing presents to good boys and girls that eat food with a lot of fiber. Wikipedia, of course, knows all about him. He is also pretty hilarious.
We had another dust storm storm bad enough to turn the world orange again the other day. Very very windy as well. Luckily the site I was working at that day was mostly inside. Again, those pictures are unedited, it really did look that orange when you stepped outside. That is of course if you could see at all because your eyes would be full of dust as soon as you stepped out the door.
More dust.
Here's the little kitty that hangs out by Ciano's, the Italian restaurant. The Iraqis I was working with today thought it was cute and motioned for me to take a picture of it.
Again if anyone has any questions about anything over here let me know. I'll answer if I can, though a lot of things are off limits for obvious reasons.
Today is my 2nd Air Force anniversary. On this day two years ago I got on a plane, got off a plane, rounded a corner, met my first Military Training Instructor, thought "what the hell did I get myself into?", and started a new life, career and journey.
Here are some things I've done in the past two years:
Raised my hand and repeated the following:
I, Derek Rose, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
Completed basic training, received a small coin that represented my hard work from the past month and a half. Some people actually enjoy the experience, I did not. It is much easier to look back on it and only remember the easy or good times, and forget the bad. It's nice that memory frequently works that way. Some bad things at the time have become good memories though, like going through the gas chamber. Doing jumping jacks in a room full of tear gas doesn't sound fun, but looking back on it it's nice to remember.
Completed tech school. This is where I learned my actual job and transitioned from the insane environment of basic training back to real life. Was happy to learn that the Air Force doesn't make you fold your clothes that way forever.
Got re-married to my sweetie-face on the beach with three guests and a minister. Went out for french toast after. Good day.
Went back home and got to see family and friends and the recruiter that brought me into the military. On the way, in the airport, noticed a group of lost looking kids carrying a brown manila envelope much like the one I had taken to basic training a couple of months previously, and smiled to myself.
Arrived at my first duty station, met "real" Air Force people and breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't going to be like basic training or tech school forever.
Found out I couldn't even enter the building where I would work until I got my full security clearance, was assigned to the Protocol office, which basically handles the events involving distinguished visitors such as Generals, high-ranking civilian government officials, etc.
Unfurled a giant American flag at a Colorado Rockies baseball game in uniform in front of thousands of people.
Provided security at a giant music festival and a Denver Broncos game to raise money for organizations on base. Got to sit right next to the field and watch the game, which was very cool even though I don't care about football.
Provided security and assistance with a visit from the then-President of the USA, George Bush. Saw Air Force One, hung out with Secret Service Agents, got one of their special pins, saw George Bush as he scurried from his car to the plane and gave a weak wave to the crowd of 300 military members standing outside freezing for a chance to shake his hand. Got a box of special Air Force One M&Ms candies.
Spent a week learning to be an income-tax preparer for military personnel, helped process almost a million dollars of tax returns for people at my base. Also manned a helpline for the local news station answering tax questions to represent the military. Learned that IRS agents have a weird sense of humor, if any at all.
Completed eight college classes and one CLEP, all completely free and paid for by the military.
Finally got my security clearance and went through a couple more months of training before finally doing my job.
Did my job.
During a timed test for my monthly job training, received a call asking me if I wanted to go to Iraq. Called my wife, got the go-ahead, called him back, accepted, finished my test.
Had a busy day today, a lot of combat and a lot of killing. Scored 82 confirmed kills, as you can see in the list above (Yes, I really did kill that many bugs today, and yes I really was bored enough to document each one. My partner killed about the same amount).
It is getting hotter here, up to 95 degrees today, so the bugs are coming out. Iraqi bugs are not like American bugs. Iraqi bugs are pissed off, apparently have radioactive super-strength, and do not die by traditional bug-killing methods.
Our truck of course does not have A/C, so we have the windows rolled all the way down or the doors open, just to survive, which makes a nice big entrance for the bugs to come through. The flies here are incredibly aggressive. A simple "shoo" normally doesn't work. They'll just sit on your hand while you wave it around, most likely laughing at you in a tiny fly laugh. If they do fly off, they immediately land somewhere else on your body, undeterred by the threatening waving going on above them. They are also apparently armor plated. The bigger flies have shiny blue/green armor on, so I assume they are the soldier flies. The smaller armor-less flies are likely scouts that report back to base and bring in the heavy fighters. The flies do seem to work together as well. When we'd move the truck to a new place, there wouldn't be any flies for the first few minutes. Then one or two would trickle in, but apparently they called for reinforcements, as soon we would be swatting at them constantly.
We began the day swatting with our hats, but we soon realized that wasn't a great idea for two reasons. First, we were getting fly guts on our hats from some of the more gruesome kills, which was gross. Second, the hat frequently did not kill the flies! We would smack them, and assume they were dead, as they would lay on their backs and not move, as a dead fly should. However a few minutes later, we'd notice a wounded fly walking around in circles, as if drunk or suffering from a minor concussion. The only way to kill an Iraqi fly is to squish it until it becomes small pieces of an Iraqi fly held together only by some smeared fly goo.
A couple of hours into the battle, we acquired new weaponry. Thanks to the heat we were drinking our bottled water, and upon emptying a bottle (they are pretty big 1 liter bottles), we began to use them as our weapons of choice in the battle against the winged insurgents. The bottle, being more rigid than a floppy boonie hat, provides better accuracy and speed, which is essential in aerial combat.
Once we calibrated our new munitions, the enemy began to fall in greater and greater numbers. The bottles allowed us to make more devastating in-air attacks, with solid hits making a satisfying "thwick" sound as it made contact with the target and sent it speeding into the ground. Having learned from combat earlier that day however, we had to finish them off once they were on the ground, as we did not want any surprise attacks from a stunned, but alive enemy.
The only bugs we spared were the lady bugs, as they are not gross looking and as far as I know their diet does not consist of poo and other disgusting things.
I originally planned to document each kill with a picture, but after I realized how many kills I would have, and that there are only so many ways to show a smear of goo as a successful kill, I decided against it and went with the written scorecard instead.
I may have to try to acquire even more advanced weaponry for tomorrow. I am not above chemical warfare or electrocution.
Just got back from the ziggurat tour and it was really interesting. Took 86 pictures but have narrowed them down to the ones below.
First let me get this out of the way. It's a little video of the Explosive Ordinance Disposal guys doing a controlled detonation on base. As soon as the video starts you can see the second mushroom cloud already forming (I couldn't get my camera out fast enough to catch all of them) and then 5 or 6 seconds later you actually hear the sound. It doesn't sound loud through my crappy camera microphone, but in person it shakes everything and sounds like one of the giant 4th of July fireworks went off 10 feet outside your car.
I'm going to post the pictures in the basic order of which they were taken, so sorry if I jump around a bit.
It's the ziggurat! I thought about only posting this picture and acting like that was the only picture I got, which I thought would be hilarious. But it seemed like too much trouble to make a second post a few days from now for the maximum comedic effect, so I just didn't do it.
This is Dife (no idea how to spell it, but it rhymes with "life"), he was our tour guide. His grandfather and father helped excavate the ziggurat and other buildings and helped with the reconstruction some. He's lived in the area his whole life. He speaks 5 languages, all of which he taught himself from reading a dictionary for that language. So, his grammar and pronunciation are not the best, but it's because he was just reading a dictionary to learn the languages. Pretty remarkable. I could understand him quite well after a couple of minutes.
Here is a short video of him speaking so you can hear how is accent sounds.
These are the ruins of the king's palace. Quite a large structure. What is left of all of these buildings is basically only the foundations. The upper levels of most of them were constructed of reeds and mud, which of course rotted away in the past few thousand years.
All of the walls in the picture above had been reconstructed, I think he said in the 1950s. They used tar to put between the bricks, but they used modern oil based tar, which is in the picture above.
This picture shows the original natural tar that came from a site west of Baghdad. Dife only pointed out this one wall that was still standing from the original building, or at least that still had the original tar.
This is a door hinge. It sits right next to a little opening in the walls and they think that a large wooden door had a little pivot point that stuck in the big hole on the rock to allow it to pivot easier.
More palace views. Sorry if this is boring, I know it's all just a bunch of brown bricks but it's pretty cool when you consider how old they are.
Another shot of the palace with ziggurat in the background. The ziggurat was the highest building in the city, and actually originally had another level on top plus a temple built with reeds and mud on top of that, so it was even taller than it is now.
These are the royal tombs. Unfortunately we were not allowed to go down in them for safety reasons they said, even though the tours from 3 weeks ago got to go. The tombs are where they found the kings and queen buried with all of their servants and guards, as well as all of their treasure like a golden harp and silver model ship. Apparently when the kings died all of their servants and guards drank poison so that they could be buried with the king.
Another shot of the tombs.
There are shards of pottery everywhere. When they were building the mud part of their buildings they put the broken pottery in the mixture to try to make it stronger, and now the mud has turned back to dust leaving only the shards of pottery behind.
It's me and the tombs! What do you do with your hands when you are in a picture?
Obviously my only idea was to hold them together in front of me.
Here's a much larger pile of broken pottery. Apparently some people tried to pick some up and put it in their pocket and so we got a little briefing from the chaplain's assistant half-way through the briefing that people needed to put them back before the end of the tour or the military police would be called, as we are not allowed to take them.
This is Dife in front of Abraham's house.
This is Abraham's house, or best guess that it is anyway. More correctly it is Terah's house I suppose, his father's. Like I said in previous post, this was rebuilt by Saddam so the Pope could come pray at the site, but he ended up not coming for security reasons.
The house has 27 or 29 rooms, I can't remember. It has three stairways which led to two rooms upstairs, which were made of reed and mud so they are obviously not there anymore.
This is one of the drainage holes I talked about in the last post. Basically the house had five courtyards in it, which were areas in the middle of the house that had no roof so that sunlight could come into some of the rooms from the courtyards and also so the water could drain into the courtyards and then down these drains.
In this shot you can see the holes where they stuck their fingers in the cement before it dried to create the holes.
These are shelves, the bottom of which is original, the others were rebuilt. They assume this was the kitchen, since it has the shelves and the original archaeologists found smoke residue on some stones nearby so they thought that's where they cooked.
The nice thing about Iraq not being as particular about their historic sites as America is that you can just walk all over them and they don't care.
The chaplain talking to Dife in a courtyard.
More wall walking.
Looks like some other buildings used to be around the house but they were not rebuilt or full excavated.
Dife walking around outside Abraham's house.
This is the largest courtyard, where we met to leave the house.
A little stairway leading upstairs. Very low archway. Either they were very short people or they just ducked a lot.
This is another drainage thing at another site. Kind of shows a cutaway view so you can see how it worked. There used to be houses built on top of these, but they were made out of mud so all that's left is the drainage pipes.
This was a temple and they believe it to be the first museum, as the archaeologist found artifacts from several different time periods and locations in the same room, as if they were being displayed in a museum. It was the largest building in the city but is only partially excavated.
Here's a really cool thing. This is the oldest known standing arch in the world. I took two pictures of it from basically the same place, but they were off enough that I could animate them together and they look 3D! I didn't do it on purpose at all but it worked out pretty well and actually looks 3D, to me at least.
Here you can see where the front bricks of the arch were put back on with cement, but the original arch still makes up most of the structure, which you can see with the bricks that are stuck together with tar still.
This is a view of the temple/museum from the top of the ziggurat.
Someone having their picture taken on the ziggurat.
This was inside one of the little holes on the side of the ziggurat that allows it to dry out, shift, swell with temperature and moisture, etc. Luckily there were no camel spiders or vipers in the hole to scare me to death.
This is the souvenir shop outside the ziggurat. It is hilarious looking.
Some real Iraqi rugs, not the kind they sell at the BX that are actually made in China and are probably Indian designs anyway.
This was a little Iraqi kid standing at the souvenir shop. I guess his dad ran the shop and his job was just to look cute. Surprisingly they didn't charge for people to get their picture taken with him. I think they are missing some money making opportunities.
I would have bought one of these collections of Iraqi money and stamps, but the BX wasn't giving any cash back and the finance office is closed so I couldn't get any cash. Maybe I'll see if the chaplain's assistant can buy it for me on the next tour or something.
Side of the ziggurat.
A sign in Arabic with a map of the layout of the area surrounding the ziggurat.
Overall it was a cool little tour. Not the most exciting tourist attraction ever, but considering it's the only one we have to choose from it isn't so bad. Apparently there are still miles of the city that have not been excavated. Even some areas right around the ziggurat have not been excavated yet, so who knows what else they will eventually find there. Could be more tombs full of treasure, who knows!
Hope you enjoyed the pictures. If I can get these others to stitch together right I'll post some panoramas from the top of the ziggurat.
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